Ok…deep breaths. You can do this.
Right. You may be feeling a little shell-shocked at the moment. It’s ok to cry, it’s ok to feel angry and it’s ok to feel a bit lost…or completely bewildered. The first 48 hours is the hardest and most intense part of dealing with your loss, so let me share some practical help.
I’m going to suggest moving all your pet’s belongings – toys, crate, litter tray, food bowls, collar and lead – to a central spot out of your direct line of vision. You can always go to this focal point if you want or need to. Also, don’t dispose of anything for at least a couple of days.
I would recommend that you don’t make any important decisions for at least a couple of days. When we have a bereavement, different parts of our brain react and release hormones, chemicals and messages which can lead to temporary numbness and impaired cognitive function – it’s our primitive limbic system’s way of protecting us.
Try to create a sensory pack – this could be a tactile blanket, scented toiletries, soothing music, favourite food – anything that calms the senses. Even just snuggling into something soft and snuggly can be really calming and soothing…
Occupy your mind with something positive. Anything…find an online training course. Get in the car and drive somewhere. On the day we said goodbye to our dog Zak we went to a garden centre and bought an evergreen scented shrub and a large pot. The more you do that is positive, the better you will feel – and you will also be distracting from your previous daily routine. If you scroll through my blog you will find an article on mood boosts.
When you inevitably sit down and think about how things or decisions could have been different…STOP! You have done the best you could do for your pet. You gave them a happy, loved life. And if any guilt creeps in…acknowledge it for what it is – a normal bereavement reaction. Recall some funny moments, or moments that made you smile.
Reach out…friends, family, social media. Most of us can empathise with the loss of a much loved pet, and support can often come from unexpected sources. If you’re struggling, email me…
However tempting, alcohol is not a good idea…it will numb the sadness for a short while, and it may help you to fall asleep, but it is likely to wake you during your restorative deep sleep stage – and a hangover doesn’t help.
I don’t know how or why this helped me, but it somehow did…when we had to say goodbye to one of our dogs, our fantastic vet gave us a tealight, which we switched on whenever we were in the house. It lasted about 48 hours. Again, I don’t know how it worked, but it was very comforting.
debbie@backontrackhypnotherapy.co.uk